queenbookwench

I wrote these tonight as a clever exercise to force myself to write (feel free to add your own faves to the list--real or simply amusing)

1.) Buy lots of books on writing and read them during your "writing time."

2.) Go out for coffee with a buddy from your writing program/group--instead of writing, talk about movies you want to see, what you're reading, the relative hotness of Johnny Depp/Brad Pitt/Orlando Bloom/Alan Rickman/Viggo Mortenson, the classes you're teaching (or your jobs), and/or the love lives of other members of your writing program/group. NOTE: This does not count if actual writing or critiquing is accomplished.

3.) Go to write at a bookstore that has a coffeeshop attached to it. Browse the shelves instead of writing.

4.) Decide that "a writer needs to experience life too"--go out drinking and dancing with friends. Stay up all night. Sleep all next day. Repeat as needed.

5.) Weed your file cabinets. Alphabetize your books and CDs.

7.) Decide you need a new journal/pen/laptop/pda and spend all your writing time looking for the perfect one.

8.) Seek out a rhyme for "orange." Declare that you will not be able to write your poem until you find one.

9.) Write a geneology for your characters. Go at least 10 generations back. (Note: this doesn't count if you're Tolkien)

10.) You need to get caught up on last season's Buffy/Angel/Sopranos/Sex and the City episodes, really you do, honest.

11.) Decide you can only wirte under certain ideal circumstances. Make ideal circumstances so complex that they occur rarely or never. Examples: beneath the full moon, riding the metro/subway after 2 a.m., living in one's own villa in France, sitting on platform in old-growth redwood forest, etc.)